{Stuck}

I’m currently reading the book, “She Takes on the World” by Natalie MacNeil, and I hit a page in the first chapter that I can’t seem to make it past.  The book is supposed to be, “A guide to being your own boss, working happy, and living on purpose.” and I can’t make it through the first worksheet…

You know the one…

“What would you do daily if salary wasn’t an issue?”

“If no one would judge you, what would you do for a living?”

“If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you try doing?”

(Paraphrased for a general idea, not direct book quotes)

You’re supposed to answer the entire page before moving on… and I can’t do it.

I think to myself, “Well of course I’d still train dogs.  But I’d like to knit more.  Or make more bracelets.  Ohhhh or draw!  Or write.  Garden?  Sleep?  Can I be a professional napper?”  And then she has the nerves to bring up our childhood dreams.  Because I’m sure my 37 year old body should be getting on the back of stunt horses, and winning gold metals for gymnastics.

I’m most likely sounding like a broken record over the past year or so… is this that mid life crisis thing?  Or am I just as broken as I feel some days?  I don’t ever want to be stuck with doing just one thing for the rest of my life.  There’s so much to do out there in the world.  And then I’m scared to death that I’ll be working my butt off until my very last day here on earth.  If only I could pick one thing…

Can I perhaps be a professional blogger who constantly blogs about trying to figure out where her niche is in this world?  No?  Maybe?  *checks bank account*  Nope.

Here’s hoping I can look back on this in the future and snicker about my childish ways.  Here’s praying I’ve made some headway by then.

In the meantime, may I borrow someone’s answers so I can finish this dang book?

~Emily

Get Over Your Damn Self {Book Review}

 

This past week I finally got around to reading, “Get Over Your Damn Self” {The No-BS Blueprint to building a life changing business} by Romi Neustadt

I think I must have bought this one while still in the depths of being a Beachbody Coach.  That was one of the best things about working with the amazing coaches with Beachbody, they know their personal development game, I’ve never have had such a wealth of resources as I did working with them… one day I hope my body will allow me to re-join my team… but I’m getting off topic, sorta.  What you cannot tell from the title of this book, is that “Get Over Your Damn Self” is a mega networking guide.  Maybe if I dug around in the back or via reviews I would’ve seen that.  These days I’m taking a major break from anything direct sells, or multi level marketing, or whatever you choose to call any business where you promote opportunities and products.

None the less, I read on.  Romi Neustadt was a well-to-do lawyer, turned top-tier seller/marketer for Rhodan Fields, the book has nothing to do with RF by the way, you have to google her online to figure any of that out.  (I’m nosey).  The goal of the book is to guide the reader through the ins and out of marketing via social networking.  Through dealing with no’s, making your lists (for non-mlm’s your list is your list of people you know to bring your opportunities to.), dealing with time, phone calls, family… Most aspects of networking such a business.

Would the book be helpful if I was still with Beachbody or another mlm type business?  It defiantly has it’s points, although the main push of the book focussed around phone calls.  A lot of phone calls.  She has great points as to why these were so important, and obviously they’ve done wonders for her… but I couldn’t see me doing three way phone calls about yoga, and or marketing being a coach.  Perhaps that’s why I wasn’t successful signing up other coaches?  Maybe not.

Would this book be helpful to those who just want more details from any “boss girl” owning the hustle.  I defiantly took away tips to put into place in my other work at home, and not so much at home careers, from time management, to networking what I have to offer.   Was it life changing, no.  But I could see a greater advantage to those really working through networking.

So I’ll give this book 3 1/2, maybe 4 stars out of 5.  I didn’t hate it, I did learn from it, I was able to easily finish it, but the majority wasn’t very useful to this non-networking girl.  I know others have raved about it, so I’m pretty sure I just wasn’t the target audience.  If she wrote another book not so mlm geared I would check it out again.  But I was hoping for more getting over myself than what I found, lol.  Defiantly more of my issues than her’s LOL.

Have you read “Get Over Your Damn Self”?  What did you think?

Girl Wash Your Face {Book Review}

I have gotten 100% hooked on personal development books… have I said that before?  I like the personal, and real life stories, I like learning from them… I like spending 5 hours reading when I should’ve been working on something else, because at least it’s educational and good for me… right?

I avoided buying, “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis for some time now.  There’s so many “Girl Boss” type books out there in the past 2 years, and almost all of them are geared just at 20 something year olds, with no kids, and city living, and designer jeans, I assumed this book would follow suit.  No offense to 20 something year olds with designer jeans and fancy city apartments, but this late 30 year old, with two kids, ripped jeans, and more animals than designer anything… It’s hard to relate.  I took the chance on Rachel Hollis after stumbling on a video from her Rise speeches, and I was hooked.  If you’re on Facebook you can view the video here.

I still began the book cautiously, but within the first chapter I knew I liked this girl.  I knew this mid-30 year old and I would mesh just fine as she told the story of peeing her pants while jumping on a trampoline with her kids.  She tells it much better, and I swear there’s a point, but if you’re a mother at all, you’ll get why this is so relatable.  And that was the whole point, she’s human, just like you and me.

I was really drawn in during a chapter on perspective.  How everything we face in life 100% depends on where we’re at in our life at that time, how we judge it all from what’s happening to us, what we’ve been through.  In her words, “We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.”

She catches me off guard several more times with truths I really needed to hear.  Things like how my dreams, your dreams, will never be as important to anyone else as they are to us… no matter what.  If we don’t do them, someone else will as we watch.  How we tend to seek out others to give us permission to quit.  And so many other vital things that I really needed to hear right then and there.

Guys I was crying by the last page.  A good cry, part ugly cry, but a good cry all the same.  I battle a ton with insecurities, and fears.  I am a horrible unfair judge on myself, and I’m all too eager sometimes to let my past, or my perception of my past give me permission to quit on things.  Rachel’s writings didn’t make me feel ashamed or guilty for my feelings, but she pushed me to finally own my life, for my sake.  Without guilt.  Without leaving my family behind, or without dropping thousands of dollars for the latests organizing and self help books and gadgets.

I’ve been stalking all of her sites ever since that last page.  She’s a mom, she runs her own business/businesses, she’s a wife… she’s me… she’s you.

In all fairness a few sections went into areas that weren’t made for my life, but I still gleamed plenty of inspiration from her stories on adoption, and fostering, struggling with a newborn… things I won’t be doing (hello, I like my sleep) but still were relevant to the over all story.  She also brings in her faith a few times as well, but I don’t believe anyone who does not agree with her faith would be offended or bothered by the overall point and message.  The book is a very quick read, worthy of at least 2 more read throughs.  And if you sign up for her mailing list via her website: thechicsite.com they’ll send you a free study guide to go along with the book.  (I haven’t checked out the guide yet, I found it after I finished the book.)

I’m truly very happy I stubbled on that video that made me finally buy, “Girl Wash Your Face.”  The book was just what I needed right now in my life, and I really hope it touches you the way it did me.  Finding the right message in personal development type books can be tricky, we all crave a different message at different times, it can be very hit and miss finding the right words during the right seasons of our lives.  This one just so happened to nail it for me.

Let me know what you think!

 

I did not receive any compensation for my review of this book, and purchased the book on my own.  I make no compensation from my readers clicking on any links in this post.

{Books} A Simplified Life, by Emily Ley

One of these days I might try some stylized fancy photos to lure you all in.  Today is very much NOT one of those days.  I tend to blog at night, setting up photo shoots at midnight not so much.

From the cover I knew this book would be perfect, because well, her name IS Emily.  And that’s reason enough right?  Okay well maybe not, but I’ve been a fan of Emily’s for well over a year now, from reading her first book “Grace Not Perfection”, and I’m a fan of her planners too.  Something about her style gets me, if that makes sense.  She’s high class, without making me feel lower class.  I know someone out there gets what I’m saying.

A Simplified Life can be compared to the cliff notes of life.  Each chapter touching on simple ways to let go of all of the things, and find happiness right where you are, without shaming you, without treating you like you don’t know how to do life’s things… And without going to the extremes.  (Yeah I’ve read a lot of these types of books, and most leave me asking if the author has ever seen a child in their life, or a speck of dirt.)

Emily touches on simplifying the home and clutter (again quick guides and motivation without making you feel stupid), quick meals, clearing out the calendar, putting faith back at the top of the list, making your family a priority (again without making you fall to the bottom of the list), and more.  And she’s included gorgeous photos of her family and home that make you want to run out and buy fake and bake cookies.  (I promise, go buy the cookies first)

I’ve always enjoyed reading anything Emily has put out there, so liking this book is probably no big surprise.  And I will be starting it over again soon (Don’t forget, to help a book sink in, and to imprint the ideas in your head, always read the book at least two times!).  It’s soothing, and inspiring without making me feel bad about myself, or overwhelmed with a to-do list larger than the pile of laundry waiting to be done here.

And of course, now, I want to go back and read her other book, “Grace not Perfection” again.  I hope you check Emily Ley out, and find the same connection I have!

You can find this title on Amazon here:

 

And her first book, Grace Not Perfection here:

 

I’m not an affiliate, but I love sharing things I’ve enjoyed!

{Why}

It’s after ten.  I’m a bit sun burnt.  My feet are soaking wet from storm drainage water.  I’m picking ticks, and thorns from out of my flesh, wondering… what the hell am I doing here.

Not the here, as in “life” or this planet, I’ve given up on those quest for knowledge.  But here in my “career” or “job” or “hobby” or what ever this thing is that I do daily.  You’d think by my age that I would have something figured out.  But with most passing days I feel more and more unsure of myself, and every direction I choose to travel.

Just because I have a “skill” that may or may not be a bit above the average joe, does not mean that’s my life calling.  I also enjoy writing and reading… should I publish books?  I love to draw… should I be a starving artist?  I also have double jointed wrists… pretty sure the circus life is not for me.  And maybe, this whole help the people thing isn’t my cup of tea.

Honestly, the older I get the more I despise people to start with.  I actually had quit dog training at one point in my life.  After having one too many phone calls with people wanting their dogs to bite, or not knowing how to make their dogs stop biting, or people just plain out who should be banned from owning any living creature including gold fish, and moths lost in their homes… I can’t even say I was burnt out, I just was done with it all.  And obviously the world is full of dog experts.  Just disagree with any dog thing online, you’ll soon see, lol.  Frankly I loved the break.  My Etsy shop http://www.whitegoatranch.etsy.com grew and helped me get a new for me car.  My back stopped hurting.  Less people.  All wins!

But as always I got drug back into it.  But life threw a giant monkey wrench at me in the midst, and pressure for more stable work, retirement plans, “a real job” was slammed at me, and I thought okay… here we go…

Now I find myself on call 24/7.  Defiantly taken advantage of.  Cleaning pee non-stop.  Not making a dime, yet working my butt off, always dealing with a crisis somewhere… And why?  There’s no glory, so it’s not for that.  I had a gentleman this weekend complain about the dogs we have in training that he could possibly receive FOR FREE because they weren’t his choice breed.   I’ve also been blocked online for not taking in every rescue dog they offer me.  Because obviously I don’t have limited space, time, or budget.  The list goes on.  And let me tell you about every moe and joe out there who can’t help my organization at all, but they’d love it if I could help them out.  Now I’m ranting.  Flat out complaining and all.  Breaking the cardinal rule of small business 101… don’t B***ch on the webs.  Don’t step on cracks either.  So many rules.

I’m just not so sure that this is my place in the universe.  There’s so many other careers out there.  I have been working on a list that hardly involves people.  Worm digging… for bait shops.  I could even decorate the containers.  Posh Bait.  Or Shabby Chic Nightcrawlers.  I could open up a private winery, and spend lots of time checking my dark, quiet cellars.  Surly neither job involves such turmoil.  I could also grow hay.  I seem to excel at letting gardens get overgrown anyway.  /sighs

But here I am, all bruised and battered.  Ego, heart, soul, and body.

The past few years have taken a lot out of me, and has left me feeling very lost.  I’m just not so sure that I’m right for this whole thing, or if this whole is right for me.

 

 

{Goals}

Dreams and goals are a favorite topic of mine.  You’ll find on my book shelves at least a dozen or two personal development books touching on dreams and goals.  I’ll admit that half of my reading is me trying to figure out what my goals and dreams should be.  I’m really stuck on the whole, “What in the world should I be doing?”

A book I was reading tonight spoke of how like the story in the bible of the master who gave 3 servants a gift to do with what they choose, and how he came back to see what they did, and one had buried it away.  (Worst paraphrase ever)  The author suggested that God’s really not big on telling us what to do (freewill and all), but he gives us a big scoop of talent, and depends on us to invest it wisely in ways that best serve him.

What am I doing today?  What would I like to be doing?  What should I have been doing?

Or one of my favorite quotes ever, “Are you busy like a bee, or busy like a mosquito?”  Lord knows I’m busy alright, anyone within earshot knows I’m busy.  If I had a nickel for every time I said the word “busy” I’d no longer have to be busy.

Busy eats up so much time, wastes so much energy, cracks already fragile nerves… I don’t like being busy.

So tonight (instead of sleeping obviously) I’m sitting here rethinking my goals and dreams.  Ways to figure out the right paths, while keeping my hands and mind busy, yet not being too busy for everyone around me.  And of course being still enough to hopefully hear and see some golden, holy signs pointing the way.  This is the first year in several that I haven’t finished my big old list of 101 things I’d like to accomplish this year.  I still love my list, and the sense of accomplishment I get when I cross things off that list, but I don’t want to add things just to add things.  I don’t need to be busier.  Just more accomplished.  🙂

What’s your dreaming, and goal setting tips?  Favorite reads to add to my list?  Do you set lists of to-do’s?  Share with me!!

 

In a Land Far Away, I Used to Write…

Many, many years ago, in a land far, far, away, I used to write.

Now I’m not saying that I was any good at writing, or that I had the potential to make anything out of my writing.  But I did it, I wrote things, I even shared those things very selectively, and I did it, the writing thing, a lot.

Stories and books are always the ultimate friend.  An escape mechanism that allows one to feel anything they choose to feel, to be anyone they choose to be, and best of all for this hyperactive person, they allow my mind to be still and quiet.

Writing has always been the pressure release valve to my stress.  My fingers have always done a much better job at working through feelings than my voice can ever imagine.  Until I remember there’s people out there…

I used to blog regularly.  I even had a few posts featured on BlogHer, and Cafemom way back in time when facebook was much smaller.  But the conflict of my self confidence and the need to please would make me stumble until the point where I’d run and hide.  I’d delete blog post after blog post, worrying about not being good enough.  Or being me enough.  Or causing too much drama, or not enough drama.  Then what if my family saw it, and then judged me.  Or what if so and so saw it… Or what if someone thought I thought I was much better than I really was.  <—- And so I stopped.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  My inner self judge has watched one too many seasons of Simon on American Idol, and has perfected making me feel like an utter loser.  Yet even knowing this, that it’s just words, just a fun thing to do and share and has no effect on the universe… doesn’t make the scary feelings more fluffy.

I have an actual pile locked away in my file cabinets of fictional novels that I wrote for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, is a challenge with mega support in November to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days… I might even have that count wrong, it’s been years since I participated).

So why am I sharing all of this now?  I really have no idea, as I’m already feeling silly sharing these words, and my random thoughts… but I can’t not share them.  I miss my old blogs, and my old stories, and the feeling of when you get that message that someone wants to share your words.  Quite frankly, I miss that praise.  I also miss the release of letting the words out, the feelings out.  I don’t miss the what if’s that immediately flood my head the second after I type a word.  And how do we ever know that the self doubt isn’t a red flag that you’re doing the wrong thing?

There’s an episode on Star Trek, Next Gen, yes I watch Star Trek, where they find a human colony hidden away.  The colony genetically engineers each person there to fulfill a certain task.  So you’re born being a scientist, or a musician, or what have you.  The crew from the Enterprise is all “Dude, that’s horrible, there’s fun in the trying things out, and trying to figure life out!”  And I’m all over here going, “Send me!  I want to know exactly what it is I’m supposed to be doing with my life.”

And maybe it’s just society these days with the ultimate pressure to not tick people off, or do the wrong thing, and to always be social media ready…  Maybe there’s just to much pressure to be more than you.

Or maybe I’m just not ready to accept my own limits and boundaries.  After all I still have plans of being the president, a rock star, a big cats behaviorist, photographer, artist, and a physical therapist for horses.

So here we are, one more attempt at putting myself and these rambling thoughts out into the universe.

How about you?  Do you have a thing that you’re way too hard on yourself about, that makes you stop doing that thing, even though you really enjoy it?

 

 

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton